Do you still believe in love?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Do you still believe in love?

I cannot remember how long it’s been since I posted here. It’s been over a year, at least. I haven’t checked that email in well over a year. Maybe I should go and check to see what hidden messages are there. There’s probably all kinds of great stuff in that inbox. I remember getting some of the best messages during the height of this blog. You guys were the absolute bestfriends I could have during that time.

I started this blog as a way to show my love to a woman who probably didn’t deserve anything I had to offer. I wanted her to prove to her that I was the best thing possible. The thing is, you should never have to go through what I did in order to prove yourself to anyone. That’s not what love is about. I advise any of you reading this blog to find comfort in knowing that you are worth much more than anyone who doesn’t see what you have to offer as a companion.

It’s been a year since we broke up and about six months since we stopped talking. She was not what I thought she was. Today, she hardly exists to me. Two and a half years of nothing. I do find myself regretting the time I spent trying to find love in someone like her. I mean, she had a good heart; but she was very manipulative. I cannot imagine doing what she did to me to my worst enemy. That’s real.

In two and a half year my life stayed stagnant. Do you believe in God? I do. I think he was showing me something. I had to let go of her to get what I wanted out of life. I’m still not in the best of positions, but I can feel everything coming togehter… Without her. The longer I held onto her, the lower and lower my quality of life sunk. I lost my job a month after meeting her in 2008. I stayed unemployed until a month after we broke up in 2011. Is that a coincidence or not? I believe in fate. I’m trying to believe in love again.