Day 1: I have fifteen days to make you fall in love with me all over again.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Day 1: I have fifteen days to make you fall in love with me all over again.

On April 11th, 2008 I met a woman that would change my life and the way that I lived it forever. It was easy to fall in love with her from the first moments we spoke. Her mind was just as gorgeous as her physical exterior. It didn’t cease to amaze me how a beautiful mind and face could coexist in one person. We’ve always been taught that the pretty girls were dumb. You can’t have it all. She’s the exception.

We had many conversations that turned into something deeper than they were meant to be. She challenged me. I remember once when she pointed out that I always spoke down about myself. She asked me to tell her something great about me. What’s so great about me? I hadn’t believed in myself. Up until that point, I had always been told that I messed up my life. I’d been made to believe that my mistakes, faults, and ignorance were the death of me. You can imagine how bad my mind froze when she asked me to tell her something great about myself. She challenged me, so I did. I saw potential in myself for the first time. Honestly, I loved her from that moment.

The beginning of our friendship had to be one of the hardest points in my life. At that point, I had just lost my job. It couldn’t come at a worser time, because I needed that job to finance my move to college. Needless to say, I didn’t have the money when it was time to move. That summer was the hardest; but, she was there. We turned out friendship into a beautiful romance. I loved it. She was there to make sure every tear I cried didn’t reach my chin. I didn’t know how to show her how much I loved and appreciated her for that. Instead, I let depression get the best of me. Still she stayed. I loved her more.

So, here we are now, a year and a half later. There has been a pinch of patience, a dash of kindness, a spoonful of laughter, and a heap of love. Literally. On the downside, there has been a lot of tears, arguments, and frustrations. That comes with any relationship. The thing is, we don’t have any relationship. This is our relationship. I don’t care what goes on in everyone else’s. In ours, we haven’t really understood each other how we should have. It’s been tough. I don’t mind it because I wouldn’t do this with anyone else. I love her.

Unfortunately, love isn’t enough for her. She’s decided she needs time to breathe and be away from everything that comes with us. It’s really heartbreaking. We have all of these plans and I still want them to go as scheduled, but she can’t. I’m having a hard time accepting it, but I just have to. No one said I had to accept it without trying to change the situation at hand, though. The saying goes: If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for. This is my attempt to fight for what’s sacred to me. What’s still pure in my heart. I want to help her remember the pureness we had in the beginning of it all. Let’s start over, but let’s do it together.

So, the purpose of this blog is really short, sweet, and romantic. I have fifteen days to make her love me all over again. It’s December 10th, 2009. What’s in fifteen days, you ask? Well, of course you already know that it’s Christmas! We had this beautiful plan to spend our holiday together. I don’t really have a family. She’s my only family, to be honest. My mother and her new husband are spending their first Christmas out of town. It’ll just be me here in this lonely house. I don’t want to be alone, unless I’m alone with her. She is my Christmas gift this year. I don’t want or need anything else but her. She’s the last gift that I need for the rest of my life. Sadly, she’s still undecided if she wants to spend that day with me. So, I’ll take these next fifteen days to remind her of our love and hopefully change her mind. In actually, I maybe only have fourteen days. I don’t mind. I’ll fight for her love and her company on the holidays.

So, here’s to being with her this year! Day one.