Day 4: Concluded.
It’s been an up and down day for me, but you know what? She was there for me like she always has been. It felt really good. Even with all of our stuff going on, she’s still the support I need, even if it’s just listening to me cry and vent. I just know that I don’t have to put up some wall of strength with her. She accepts me even when I’m weak and I love that about her.
I can’t say that I’ve been my happiest today, but I’ve had a lot of time to think, be depressed, and problem solve; but most of all, I had time to love. Sometimes I get so worried with things that I forget to just take a step back and enjoy the one thing in my life that’s pure to me. I’ve been so afraid of things today that I didn’t really let myself get lost in this love. Once I reminded myself to do so, then my night was just so much better. It’s not sweeping it under the rug at all. It’s me being able to just let go of things that I can’t change today, and focus on what I have going for me at that moment. I love how she helps me without even knowing.
Today, I thought about children. How would they look? Which features of mine would they have and which of hers would they have? Would they have my mannerisms or hers? When my daughter is upset with me, will she turn her back to me and not want to speak? When she’s frustrated will she collapse on the bed? I wonder if my son would say “Indeed” a lot just like me. I have this nuclear family in my head. I live with them. Does that make sense? Let me explain. My living situation is shit right now, so I’ve created this place in my head where I just live. It includes her, I, and (sometimes) our family. I like it when it’s just us because the adult things happen! Haha, I wish I were kidding. I’m so lame.
Goodnight.
Notes
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heathsambienstash reblogged this from fifteendays and added:
For what its worth: If she tells...blog about your unborn children. Holy hell, grow
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djkaseynova liked this
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fifteendays posted this
