Day 15: Tomorrow day one all over again.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Day 15: Tomorrow day one all over again.

I can’t express every emotion that has come to me during my time with this blog. I have cried, laughed, and cried more. It’s been a rewarding ride; although my ultimate goal has yet to be fulfilled. I started this blog with so much ambition and hope, but as time went on I began to get discouraged. I started to question myself and if I was good enough for her. Everything I had done didn’t change her mind. It really broke my spirit. The thing about it is that I couldn’t blame anyone else but myself. I chose to make this blog and express every emotion I had. See, when you put it all out then you’re left with nothing if it doesn’t work. That was, and still is, a risk I’m willing to take.

I figured that once the fifteen days where completed, then I’d just leave this blog alone as a testament in time to what true love is. Today, I’m having a hard time letting go. I feel important in someone’s life. Your emails have validated why I took the time to do this. You people don’t know how much every last email means to me. They have also made me cry, laugh, and cry more; but most of all, they made me feel appreciated. I have received a multitude of wonderful emails that have made me feel like anything is possible. Writing hasn’t always been a big part of me, but knowing that my words can affect everyone like this has given me some sort of motivation. I wish I could thank you all in a much more grander way.

I’d like to apologize for my lack of updates in the past few days. This blog has been put in place for one pair of eyes; although I’m happy for every bit of support I’ve received from everyone else. But know that a lack of updates does not meant a lack of effort. I’ve still given my all to the love of my life in order to show her what love can be. I’m still trying today, and I will keep trying tomorrow. True love doesn’t give up. At least the love that I’m feeling in my heart doesn’t.

Now, here we are on Christmas. Day fifteen. This is coming to a close. I’ve had fifteen days to deliver a Christmas gift like none other. What became of all of this? I’d love to sit here and tell you that she’s over my shoulder while I type this, but she isn’t. My idea that I’d be able to make her want to spend the Holiday with me in fifteen days wasn’t exactly the best one. I’m alone this Christmas. I’ve never really had much of a family, besides her. So, yes, it’s a bit sad, but I have to deal with it. I’m not sure what tomorrow is going to bring. I’ll be in my empty home with whatever movie or basketball game is on. You know what’s beautiful about life? If God permits it, you have another day to start over. Tomorrow is day one all over again.

Merry Christmas,
Fifteen Days

P.S. We have made an awesome stride in our relationship.