I love you limitlessly.

Friday, January 29, 2010

It’s been a while since I wrote in this blog. I’m up at 4am trying to find a reason to sleep and I can’t. I have such a long day tomorrow, but my thoughts are keeping me wide awake. God, they’re so pure. I love being kept awake by the thought of you. It’s truly amazing. I may have such a weird way of explaining this; but it makes the best sense to me. I guess what I’m saying is, I’d rather be wide awake thinking about you, than sleep and in a dream that I can’t control. Unless, of course, that dream happens to be one about you; but that’s not definite is it?

We had an incident tonight. I know you, love. You may wake up feeling drained and so tired of me. I hope not. Surprise me. I’m writing here tonight because as I look at you sleep, I want to hold you close to me and protect you from it all. I want to protect you from waking up feeling bad. I wish I could help you sleep through the night. I’m really happy that I was able to talk you back to sleep after you woke up feeling bad about our little incident earlier tonight. I’m also happy that we decided to just let it go. For me, that means letting go of the negativity and just being. You know how much I love to just be.

If I so happen to fall asleep before you wake up and take off for work tomorrow, I pray that your heart is directed to this blog. This is everything that I want you to wake up to in the morning, or even while in your office at work tomorrow. I want you to know that you’re my all. I tell you so much because I don’t want you to go a day without hearing it, feeling it, and knowing it. I’d rather over do it than not do it enough. I’ve had my fair share of mess ups in this relationship. I’m not allotted anymore more, by my standards. I love you, 254. Remember my codename for you? 254. I hope I don’t regret putting that in this blog! You know how crazy folks can be!

Want to know what’s on my mind? It’s you, like always. You’re sleeping a lot more peacefuller (wait, peacefuller is a word?! dope!) since you woke up and I talked you back to sleep. The bed isn’t moving and you’re not tossing and turning. I feel like you’re going to sleep through the night now and I’m so happy about it. You know that feeling that a man gets when he feels like he can take care of his woman? Probably not; but that’s the feeling that I have. Accomplished. Knowing that I was able to put you in a comfortable state and helped you get back to sleep, even after our incident and how mad you are at me right now. There is nothing like a woman’s wrath! I love it, though. I wouldn’t change you for anything, baby.

And to my readers:

I know it’s been a while. I’ll be responding to all of your emails soon! I’ve had such a stressful start to this year that I haven’t really had much time for anything else but my life and my relationship. As you can see, everything worked out for the better. I didn’t get on the blog and tell everyone because I didn’t want it to be about a show. I wanted my love to be moreso about my love and not putting it on display. The person that matters knows where we stand, so it’s good enough. I appreciate all of you, but it’s about her, you know? I’m sure you understand.

God bless,
Fifteen Days.