We're bipolar. - Fifteen days to make you love me

Sunday, January 31, 2010

We’re bipolar.

Sometimes I love you until there is no ends and I daydream about spending the rest of my life with you. Other times you make me so mad that I could just run through a wall and not get hurt based on pure adrenaline. Most days you make me smile, and others you make me cry. It’s a hell of a ride, but you make my life interesting. You give me reason, and most of all you give me love. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else but you.

I know that I can be a complicated mess sometimes. I’m stubborn and so are you. We have egos and when we’re upset we don’t back down. I’m learning and giving my all to be submissive. I hope it’s not too late. I see that you show your teeth more and more these days when before you would calm it down and ask how to fix it. We’ve switch rolls. You’re not used to this knew me. I really hope you don’t think it’s a front, because I’m giving my all to be a better person. It stings a little bit every time you tell me you’re not used to this. It’s only the truth, though. I can’t be mad at that.

I can smile, laugh, cry, and laugh again in one day with you. It’s the beauty of life. I go through all emotions. I would have never imagined doing this before. I’ve spent most of my recent years being a stoic asshole. Now I have a grip of feelings that I don’t know what to do with. I feel bad for crying when I do because I never knew what it felt like to cry. I never had an emotion. I don’t think it’s bad that you’ve showed me how to feel. That comes with love. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t get upset. I wouldn’t care about the things you do. It sounds so cliche, but I care because I love you. It hurts because my heart is in it. Does that make sense?

Joe Budden said it best: “It’s nothin’ else in this world that we would rather do.” I wouldn’t even give the time of day to anyone else. I don’t have many friends because I give up on them early on. With you, I can’t. I truly want to spend the rest of my life with you. We have spoken to each other everyday for the past two years. Everyday. I want to keep that streak going. Even when we went through all of that in December, we still spoke. It’s just us. I love that. I know it’s not just me that can’t be away from you. It’s mutual.

A minute ago, I was so mad at you that I just wanted to hang up and not call you back for a every long time. Then when we hung up, I had to call you back. Who was I kidding? I was just frontin’. Then I called you back with an attitude like I was doing something. God, I’m such a fool. We know the deal. I love it, though. We’re bipolar as we wanna be.